Mutual Assured Destruction

As I count down to the dreaded annual physical, I survey all that is about me and declare it to be “not good.” To say that I’m not in as good a shape as I once was, is an understatement of monumental proportions. Heck, I’m not even in as good a shape as I was last year, and that is truly the worrisome part.

How long can you keep eating half as much, and exercising more, to maintain what the medical professionals are calling my “target BMI.” BMI stands for Body Mass Index, which is an acronym to use instead of, “you’re the perfect weight for someone seven feet tall, the problem is, you’re five feet ten inches tall.” According to my BMI, I’m 7’4″.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for improving everyone’s health. Even if it’s the insurance companies driving the bus. Insurance companies fixed the tobacco problem in the United States. Now they’re going after the fat people. I suspect at some point they’ll target alcohol abuse, since they’ll get a twofer, cancer, and car accidents.

Maybe, eventually, the insurance companies will go after the gun manufacturers. I’d love to see it, but I don’t think the numbers support the effort, from the point of view of the insurance companies. There have been 33,675 shooting deaths in the U.S. so far in 2022, 18,282 are suicides. This is just a blip on the radar to the insurance companies. Even if 1,253 of the deaths were children.

The website “National Cancer Institute,” predicts that in 2022, that there will be an estimated 1,900,000 new cancer cases diagnosed and 609,360 cancer deaths in the US. See my point? Even if the gun companies weren’t protected from civil suits by our government, the amount of potential liability from gun deaths pales by comparison to the amount of money spent on cancer treatment.

Using a bit of twisted logic, that only I can employ, it is actually beneficial to the insurance companies if folks shoot each other, rather than die from the traditional causes of heart disease or cancer. Particularly now that we have the Affordable Healthcare Act. Twisted, I know, but these are the big players that are in it for the long game. They have actuaries that can give you a death toll, down to the last gnat, for every area of the world. Why wouldn’t they use that knowledge to their own benefit?

Speaking of twisted logic, how about the realization that the thing that gives us life, is also the thing that hastens our departure?

Yes, I’m talking about food, and I’m not even including the “it’s filled with pesticides and plastics” arguments. I’m talking about having a ready supply of food that has been engineered in focus groups to make us want to eat more. Sweet foods beg for salty foods and salty foods beg for sweet foods, and if they’re combined together, well, let’s just eat all we can. Why would we ever want to get up from the table?

Think about bacon cinnamon rolls or chicken and waffles. Now think about the fat count and caloric values. Is there any wonder why my BMI is higher than Hank Aaron’s lifetime batting average? I think not. At some point the insurance companies will have to put their foot down on America’s eating habits and get us to toe the line, to preserve their bottom line. Until then, I’ve got a Frosty and some fries that I’m entering into a Mutual Assured Destruction pact with. Mine will just take a little longer.