Lucifer Takes A Mate

Something that has been showing more bark than bite lately is the dialogue between the Republican establishment and their insurrectionist “there are no fair elections unless I win” candidates. Potential Trump heirs to the throne and likely vice president nominees are jockeying for favor with the “I’m crazier and meaner than you” crowd.

Once upon a time we had the expectation in this country of candidates that were above average, if not in intelligence, at least in morals and decency. Now we are faced with a race to the bottom of the human intellect in a dystopian future where only the crazies rise to the top. Clarification, the mean crazies. If the fate of our country, and the perception of the rest of the world were not issues, it would be laughable. As it is, it’s scary for all.

For example, John Boehner, former speaker of the House and friend to everyone not named Obama, described perennial candidate Ted Cruz as “Lucifer in the flesh.” In a speech at Stanford university, Boehner stated, “I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.” 

Now from a contrarian point of view, that’s pretty high praise for someone who wants to be perceived as an outsider. You just know that Boehner has dealt with some really difficult personalities over the years, and to be called out as the number one SOB of them all is quite a prize. The Cruz did try to damage control the statement by pointing out that his inability to get along with any of his constituents in Congress just verified his “outsider” bona fides. I don’t think that I’ve heard a denial from Cruz about the Lucifer part.

To their credit, a group of Satanists have gone on record as saying, “Satanists do not “want” Cruz and that he “is everything opposite of what we represent.”  I guess you’ve hit rock bottom when the Satanists won’t take you in.

There are certainly links here for Bible scholars. The story of Revelations tells of a false prophet who is believed to be the second coming of Jesus. It is widely stated that Cruz’s wife, Heidi, heard the voice of God telling her that her hubby would be the next President. Ted even used God’s intervention to explain his win in the Iowa primary against the Donald when running for the Republican primary in 2018. Ted’s Dad was out preaching to anyone that would listen that The Cruz was divined to win the Presidency to turn the tables on the wealthy. Sounds like the setup to a disaster movie where a guy becomes the most powerful man in the world and then turns out to be an absolute nutcase. Oh, that’s right, we’ve already seen that movie.

To offset the damage to his rep done by Boehner’s statements, and the rather sound beating in the primaries by The Donald, The Cruz has been on a mission from God/Satan to prove that he indeed is the most miserable SOB ever. This week, after one of the Maggats that had drunk too much of the Crazy Kool Aid tried to kill Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi’s husband, The Cruz helped spread rumors that the assailant was known by the victim, that the encounter was some kind of a meetup that went bad. The Cruz had not a whit of concern for the eighty-two-year-old man that had been bashed in the head by a hammer.

Not to be outdone in the race to the bottom of human cruelty, Georgia representative, Marjorie Taylor Greene announced that the attack was the result of the Democrats lax immigration policies. She went on to opine that if Paul Pelosi had been a “Second amendment gun owner” that he could have shot his attacker dead. To give the full depth of her depravity I must quote MTG’s Tweet, “It’s dangerous Democrat policies that led to Paul Pelosi being attacked.”

Evangelicals like The Cruz and MTG believe in The Rapture and that the righteous will be “called up” ahead of the rest of us. I would assume that his call to Heaven would be sufficient to get him out of the hair of the rest of us mere mortals. Although, if he is the “Second Coming,” I guess he gets to choose what he wants to do most. Take his seat at the right hand of God or run again to be President of the United States. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

One decision that should be easy for The Cruz is who to pick for his running mate. Picking one of the meanest hateful women on the planet as your V.P would be a fait accompli. No doubt she will accept. Her acceptance should scare the bejesus out of Cruz. MTG is someone who is willing to get down and roll in the mud for delusional Bible thumpers and Qanon nutjobs alike. What would be on her list of things that she wouldn’t do to get to sit behind the Resolute desk?

Like I said before, if the fate of our country, and the perception of the rest of the world were not issues, we’d be having a good chuckle. As it is, it’s scary, on a Biblical scale.