It Ain’t The Heat

Being a southerner there is a phrase that I’ve heard almost as often as my name, “it ain’t the heat, it’s the humidity.” Depending on my mood and time constraints I may decide to engage in the scientific theory posited that we are only uncomfortable on a 100-degree day because of the humidity.

I might go for the jugular right off and ask the question, “Did you ever notice how people don’t complain about the humidity making them feel uncomfortable when it’s snowing?” That would be the question that I probably would not wait for a response from the prognosticator. Even the dimmest among us recognizes that the humidity is extremely high when it’s snowing. If I do stay around for a rejoinder, I will generally deliver my coup de grâce “It ain’t the humidity, it’s the heat! It’s always been the heat and it ain’t getting any better!”

From www.climate.gov, “The nine years from 2013 through 2021 rank among the 10 warmest years on record.” Now being a loyal true blue American I’m always proud when our team comes out on top, and it’s icing on the cake if we break the record while doing it. Unfortunately, there’s some records that we shouldn’t aspire to, like number of cats living in a one room apartment.

There are those among us, fossil fuel companies and their shills, who will make the argument that the earth has always had periods of fluctuating temperature ranges. We do have a lot of historical information to look at, going all of the way back to 1659 in England. The thing is generations before us didn’t have the technology to observe or record the changes in the environment like we do today.

To some degree we have to rely on the writers of the day to record the events of their time like when the Mississippi river ran backwards. For historical reference I’ve reviewed writer’s works from the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries for diary entries that reference “couldn’t write today, perspiring so profusely my undergarments are soaked.” I found none. Admittedly they may have been too proper to give voice to their distress, but surely a reference to the high humidity would have found its way into their tomes.

The world is in a climate catastrophe and even the “good guys” are not being spared. The drought out west has reached apocalyptic proportions. Lake Mead’s water level is so low they’re uncovering bodies that were hidden were they would never be found. We may find Jimmy Hoffa yet.

It’s An Inconvenient Truth, but Al Gore has been warning us about this coming disaster since 1989. Rising tides, stronger and stronger hurricanes and tornadoes, unseasonable weather affecting crops and growing seasons, the loss of our coral reefs, wildfires, and the loss of the permafrost. It’s all been there for people who were willing to listen to scientists for over thirty years.

Meanwhile, the state of Mississippi is being encouraged to take showers with their mouths closed because the flooding in the state has compromised their water treatment systems. We do want to encourage Mississippians to shower, you know that whole high humidity-soaked undergarments issue. But if you don’t trust just a splash of water in your mouth, what’s it doing to your skin?

Speaking of skin, the loss of our ozone layer has resulted in record skin cancers. “The increase in the incidence of skin cancer can be mainly attributed to the use of artificial sunlamps and intense exposure to ultraviolet (UV) light.” Ok, time for a reality check, who still uses a tanning bed or sun lamp? No one.

The same thing that’s giving us skin cancer is melting the polar caps, glaciers, and mountain tops around the world. As that snow melts, the seas rise and that beautiful condo you have in Florida will be accessed only by water taxi like Venice, Italy. Hope your place wasn’t on the first floor.

It ain’t the humidity, it’s the heat and we need to do something about it right away or mother earth will fix it for us.