If You Ain’t Woke, You Must Be Asleep

In the words of the great philosopher and business tycoon, Forrest Gump, “Stupid is as stupid does.” Have truer words ever been spoken? Whether your I.Q. is stratospheric or slightly higher than a rutabaga, people can be more truly judged by their actions than what they made on their S.A.T.S.

All of us sharing this planet have the expectation that the people that we interact with on a daily basis are, if not pulling in the same direction, at least not land mining our path. We presume that a person with “average” intelligence realizes that we as a society can accomplish so much more by working together than with one group carrying all of the load while the other group runs through the woods with their hair on fire.

We are wrong to presume. Average intelligence in the United States has dropped to an I.Q. of 98. When I was growing up it was 100, which was fairly consistent throughout the world as I recall. Now we’re three points dumber than our neighbors to the north. What happened? I suspect it’s the enforced breeding programs by the elites. You know where only Muffy can be betrothed to Biff and Skylar can only be seen with Cameron and Huxley. The Donald and his progeny has single-handedly dropped the average half a point at least.

As the recipients of “royal blood” can attest, sometimes the best genetic match is not the person closest to you. Exceptionalism is not a good thing in societal terms. Not only is society more likely to breed itself out of existence, but there is no place for the “diamonds in the rough” to emerge. “Talent and intelligence are equally distributed throughout the world. But opportunity is not.” So how do we ensure that the cream rises to the top and that we’re not at the mercy of one of the Donald’s offspring to come up with a cure for cancer?

First we have to recognize the dynamics of what average I.Q. means. In the case of the U.S., roughly sixty-eight percent of the population has an I.Q. of 115 or less. Please pause and dwell for a moment about the last time you interacted with someone that you suspected wasn’t “the brightest bulb in the box.” Now recognize that that person was around the 100 I.Q. mark and that roughly 68% of the population is not as quick as he is. Now speculate that there is a well funded movement designed to exploit those individuals for their own benefit.

In addition to perpetrating falsehoods on a constant basis through the media, this group is hard at work on dismantling the last bastion of civil discourse open to the vast majority of citizens, the public schools. Most of us learned in public school the rights and privileges of American citizens through history and civics courses. I understand that Civics is no longer taught most places. How convenient…. If the average citizen doesn’t learn their rights, their responsibilities and the way to preserve their rights in school, they’re certainly not going to learn them from the Faux News Network. The Faux News Network has its own agenda and it’s not inclusive.

The Faux News Network and its benefactors/promoters are masters at taking complicated issues and reducing them to buzzwords that the person of “average” I.Q. can latch on to and use to sound like an “informed individual” when shouting them out at a school board meeting. Phrases like “cancel culture” which is Faux’s take on the public telling a business “we’re not going to use your products anymore if your behavior continues in the same way.” What’s the public’s recourse to protest the bad actions of a corporation, burn all of their locations to the ground? Seems like boycotting the product until they meet acceptable standards would be more desirable than a fire sale. But God forbid we “cancel” anyone.

Speaking of cancelling anyone, Faux is working hard on cancelling, people of color, gays, liberals and anyone that is intellectually capable of seeing through their smokescreen. BTW, it’s ok, if Faux is doing the cancelling. It’s also ok to cancel anyone that is “woke”. Woke is a person that is sensitive to the plight of anyone not in the W.A.S.P. mold of the Faux News hosts. Woke is a person that knows that Blacks were once owned in the U.S. and have a had a struggle overcoming that time. Woke is a person that believes that history shouldn’t be “white washed” to make some people’s feelings feel better.

History is what it is, which brings us back to the importance of schools in the development of societal norms in children. In particular the children who are not intellectually inclined to seek out all of the positions of an argument. These children need to know that everybody is different and unique and should be respected for their diversity. That’s not “indoctrination, it’s just good manners. After all, what would Jesus do?

If Men Could Get Pregnant

I’m torn between taunting “nanny, nanny, boo-boo” or shrinking into an overwhelming sadness. The “nanny, nanny, boo-boo” is for any woman that has given aid to, comforted, or voted for, a Republican candidate for the last sixty years. From Nixon forward I’ve told anyone that was listening, this is where the Republican party is going. The inner philosophy of the Supreme Court has revealed what many of us have seen coming for decades. “Future Back to the Past” is coming to fruition. Get ready for barefoot and pregnant girls. We’re headed back to the fifties. Not the 1950’s, the 1850’s.

I hold particular disdain for female congress people like Susan Collins who held the allegiance to her party closer than her sense of self. True, when Collins gave Gorsuch, Kavanaugh and Barrett the green light to proceed she was well past child bearing age. No skin off of her nose, right? In truth, Collins probably never had to worry one moment about childbearing altering her career path. The fact that the same was not true for 99.99 percent of all other women did not resonate with Collins. But that’s how it is with Republicans, male and female alike. They’ve been altered genetically. Their empathy gene has been removed. How can people presume to represent others when they can’t identify with their constituent’s life situations?

Imagine if you will, that men could get pregnant. Star quarterback, Ben Dover has just been drafted number one in the NFL draft. Six weeks after his draft celebration party, Ben finds himself in a family way. What to do, what to do? Put off child bearing until he’s completed his career or prepare himself for his body and his pocketbook to take a big hit? Everybody knows the answer to this one, we learned about it in Catechism. Ben would take the hit for the Republican party, have the baby and turn it over to a Catholic orphanage to raise. I forgot to mention in the setup that Ben is a Catholic Republican just like five of the Supreme Court Justices.

We all know that if men could get pregnant and the number one draft pick turned up pregnant, a host of “fixers” would see to it that Ben would not lose one minute of his career, or bear any stigma for his decision. Heck, they’d probably provide a signing bonus along with grief counseling for as long as Ben needed to get over his mixed feelings. If he had any. Therein lies the contradiction and the hypocrisy.

George Carlin used to say that Republicans are not Pro Life, they’re Pro Birth. If you think about all of the social improvement bills, education, health care, etc., that have been shot down in Congress by the Republicans it’s easy to conclude that the actual life of the fetus after birth is not a concern for the Republicans. They just want to grab the knee-jerk visceral reaction from their voters over abortion and use it to further their headlong plunge back to the Victorian age. Do as I say, not do as I do.

From a strictly anthropological point of view, if we wanted to curtail unwanted pregnancies we would eliminate the seed sower not the fertile ground. Pregnant females are out of commission for at least nine months while the male could impregnate 5-6 women a day. That’s 1800+ potential births from adopting the wrongheaded assumption that the female bears all of the responsibility for the pregnancy.

The protesters carrying signs “Vasectomies not Abortions” have got a valid point. If our bodies truly belong to the state and none of us has any say with what can and can not be done to us, let’s give all males a vasectomy when they register for the draft. Eighteen might be too late in certain circumstances, but the significance of signing up to go to war at the same time relinquishing your ability to father indiscriminately might just be the wake up call this country needs.

Nip it in the bud I say, or get real about a woman’s right to choose.


Once upon a time there was a book entitled, “The Mouse That Roared”. The book was adapted to a hilarious movie starring Peter Sellers. The premise is that a small country has its livelihood destroyed by an American company. The little country sees no other way out but to declare war on the U.S. hoping that the U.S. will rebuild its economy like we did for Germany and Japan after WWII. I won’t spoil the plot any further but to say that “The Mouse” was far more successful than its leaders ever dreamed. It is a riotous case study for the law of unintended consequences.

A little closer to home we find another war being waged by a kingdom represented by a mouse. Vying the Donald for the most regressive low life pond scum elected official, Florida governor Ron DeSantis is working furiously to prove to the Republican party that it is he that is better equipped to bring America back to horse and buggy days. The Donald makes a racist, misogynistic, homophobic statement and DeSantis says, “Here, hold my beer.” Honest!

DeSantis just banned fifty-four math text books for the publisher’s attempt at “indoctrinating” children. Apparently one of the book burners read about the transitive property and decided that Florida’s school children would have none of that. In the words of Inigo Montoya, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” Sadly, ignorance is self-perpetuating as well as its own reward.

In an attempt to protect the children of Florida from being exposed to any discussion about sexuality, DeSatan has signed into law Florida House Bill 1557. The bill, also now forever known as the “Don’t say gay bill”, attempts to keep any discussion out of the classroom about sexual orientation. If a teacher is asked, they can’t tell.

According to the Governor in a Faux News interview, “In the state of Florida, we are not going to allow them to inject transgenderism into kindergarten.” Not content to let one stupid statement die on its own, the future of the Republican party opined, “First graders should not have woke gender ideology imposed in their curriculum, and that is what we are standing for.” That kind of deep analysis puts “if x=y and y=z , then x=z” to shame, doesn’t it?

Enter the mouse that roared. Disney World is known throughout the world as the most plain vanilla wholesome environment that can be imagined. There are princes and princesses and animals that talk and sing. In addition to being one of the largest employers in the state, they also bring in BILLIONS of dollars into the Florida economy. Say “Florida” to anyone in the U.S., particularly the ones under eighteen, and they will say “Disney World.”

As a rule, Disney avoids controversy and attempts to stay in the lane of “Mom and apple pie.” All well and good until their employees decided that HB1557 was nothing more than a hate bill and protested. Back and forth, back and forth and then Disney and all of their family (ABC, ESPN, A&E, Lifetime, The History Channel, and more) decided to support their LGBTQ employees.

Verbal salvos have been launched on both sides and the tiny country that is Disney World has declared war on ignorance and intolerance in Florida. Not to be upstaged, righteous Ron says, “Hold my beer.” In an act of retribution, DeSatan has lifted many of the special considerations given to Disney when they offered to take 25,000 acres of Florida swamp and palmetto palms and turn it into a wonderland.

At this point it is easy to say that Mickey Mouse is more responsive to the needs of his constituents than the Florida legislature. Of course, the Florida legislature and Governor are much more insulated from their customer base than Disney World. While workers at Disney are carrying signs and holding rallies to protect their basic rights, the Republican party in Florida are nudging each other in the ribs and saying, “Hold my beer.”

Makes you wonder which entity is actually living in Fantasyland doesn’t it?

The Russian Doll

I think the most interesting story I’ve read recently is how our former directors of the CIA are referring to the Donald as a “Russian Doll”. It seems that the former directors, both of whom worked for Republican presidents, think that the Donald’s desperate need for flattery made him susceptible to being turned by Putin. Putin, who the directors point out never left the KGB, would be adept at exploiting the vanity of a megalomaniac.

The phrase has come up again when describing the unmasking of the Donald’s various business entanglements by the Attorney General of New York. Comparing the insidious business affairs of a gangster like hierarchy to those cute little egg shaped caricatures that hide one inside the other is some high irony. When unpacking Russian dolls one expects to find a similar benign character like the outer shell at the inner layer. It seems that the deeper the A.G. in New York goes the more sinister the next level is. Imagine getting to the last doll and worrying if Beelzebub is waiting there for you. I wish her Godspeed and good luck.

The Donald is not the only Russian asset that’s been unmasked over the past few years. The stalwart bastion of truth and decency, former minority house leader Kevin McCarthy once called out two people for being on the Russian payroll. It was interesting that he didn’t call out the congressional contingent that went to Russia on America’s Independence day. I guess it was more important to line up campaign financing for their next run. Let’s not overlook the influence of the evangelicals attempting to bring religion to the Godless infidels at events sponsored by Russian oil companies. A little covert technical support could be hidden inside the next doll, if you please.

Some of the Russian influence is a bit more subtle. Take Mitch McConnell’s aluminum plant. If you remember the story there once was an aging, befuddled tortoise look alike running for re-election in Kentucky. The state was leaning more and more to the Democrat persuasion. Some of the population had grasped the idea that the website that gave them health care was actually a result of a Democrat president. Was the state ready to turn blue? Not if Moscow Mitch had anything to do with it.

Enter a Russian Oligarch promising to bring an aluminum plant to an impoverished part of Kentucky.(redundant) All Moscow Mitch had to do was to see that the sanctions imposed on Russia for assorted misdeeds could be lifted. Mitch did his part, but in a rare instance of Divine Intervention, he was replaced as speaker of the house. Surprising no one with half of a brain, the Russian money has backed out. The voters of Kentucky are still stuck with a hundred-year-old tortoise for Senator and no job producing aluminum plant.

Picking up the Russian standard, Kentucky’s other Senator, Rand Paul chose to spout support for Russia’s attempt to take Ukraine back to the stone age. In some sort of twisted empathy for bullies everywhere, the diminutive Senator rationalizes that since Russia once occupied Ukraine, they should be allowed to go back in and smash it to bits. Conceptualize the abusive husband kicked out of the house returning to kill its occupants and burn the house to the ground. In Rand Paul country, “them’s the rules.” You once owned it, you’re free to go back and smash it to bits if the notion strikes you. Holy Cow! What’s in the water in Kentucky? I guess now we’ve got watch to our flanks for a British invasion.

Fascinating stuff if the future of the world didn’t hang in the balance. I haven’t even started on the Russian TV stars on the Faux News. So many Russian dolls, so little time.

Alligators in the Subways

Alligators in the subways has been a folk tale, legend, irrational fear for almost a century in New York city. As scary as confronting a prehistoric animal that is mostly teeth and claws in an enclosed space is, there is something even scarier and more likely to occur to the average commuter. It occurred again recently.

On March 14, 2024 a man entered the New York subway armed with a knife and a shotgun. This is probably not a unique case, but one that had unique consequences. In a verbal disagreement with another passenger, the perpetrator pulled his weapon and attempted to threaten/harass/kill another passenger. The potential victim relieved the aggressor of his weapon and shot him four times. The assailant became the victim and is expected to survive. The victim/shooter is not being charged.

From the ABC story, “Terrified commuters who were on the train and the station platform ducked for cover during the shooting. No one else was injured, police said.” “There were multiple police officers in this station just feet away from when the train pulled in, who heard the shots and moved in right way,” NYPD Transit Chief Michael Kemper said.”

A man that had multiple run-ins with the law, who clearly has a mental health issue and by the accounts of his social media was primed to act out, was allowed to enter a public area. What compelling interest did he have that he needed a gun to resolve? Were the voices in his head yelling too loud?

Fighting tooth and nail against a Republican controlled congress that will broker no attempts to curb the avarice of American arms manufacturers, President Biden has attempted to do what he can to stem the proliferation of weapons in our society. Signing the ghost gun bill into law is one example. Hoping to do something to stem the tide of violence in our country, the President gathered enough support for putting an end to the industry that’s business model is to put untraceable weapons in the hands of those who would want to have an untraceable weapon. Let that marinate for a second.

The Universal background check hopes to put an end to all of the loopholes that gun purchasers are happily skipping through now. The House passed the bill last year and it is currently languishing in the Senate. A Gallup poll in 2018 proved that 92% of us want stronger gun laws. I will ask the question somewhat rhetorically because we all know why. “Why won’t the Senate Republicans vote for stronger control laws when their constituency clearly wants them to?”

If only every American parent had the ability to buy a Senator instead of a bulletproof backpack. Unfortunately buying a Senator takes big money and that factor alone allows the carnage to continue year after year after year. Guns are the leading cause of death for children under 19 in America. Every year 2100 children are killed and 1300 commit suicide by gun. How can these numbers be acceptable? How can our elected leaders continue to ignore the facts of our loose gun laws and not at least vote to keep guns out of the hands of the crazies?

Sadly, we all know that finding a Republican that would vote in favor of gun control legislation would be like finding an alligator in the subway. Possible, but…..